as soon as i got home yesterday afternoon, i slept. at some point around midnight i woke up, answered a text message, then slept again. i woke up around five in the morning. it was already bright and there was light rain that lasted about ten minutes. i decided i will prepare breakfast today.
it's been a long time since i've cooked something in the kitchen. aside from the quick meals i prepare for myself every now and then, before i leave for work, i haven't really set out and cooked a meal in months. it felt good, working in the kitchen again. i prepared some scrambled eggs and friend rice, which isn't much, really; but it's good all the same, having to chop ingredients and prepare pans and heat oil and break eggs, i feel like i ought to be doing this more.
when i finally settle down, this is how i'll welcome domesticity: through cooking. i'll spend weekends in the kitchen, preparing meals. i'll be trying new recipes. i'll do grocery shopping, listing down the things i need, looking forward to the dishes i will be cooking. and then, after the meal is done, i will be washing the dishes, wiping them clean, and will be arranging each one for the next time we'll be using them again. it won't be chore because it is something i love to do.
should i feel bad about anything, i will probably calm myself by preparing something in the kitchen.
halfway while preparing fried rice, my sister went done and fixed herself something to eat. she helped herself with some scrambled eggs, some plain rice that i reheated, and some of the left over dishes from last night. i haven't touched any of those leftovers; i feel sad seeing the stuff the family eat everyday like tose were cooked because they needed to eat something, but there wasn't that much effort in the preparation. they aren't that appetizing but they will do.
my sister heated some water, had her coffee, began to eat. she didn't eat much. i don't think she had any of the bread i bought from the baker. she's always been a light eater.
the dad went down, grabbed a bread and went upstairs to turn on the tv. the mum would always watch mass on tv because she doesn't like getting out of the house that much. the mum also went down, got herself something to eat, then went upstairs. at the point i was washing the pans i used for cooking. i ate my breakfast alone, went back to my room and tried to get some more sleep. i wanted to sleep the entire day off. the weather is cool because of the rain but still, i stayed awake.
sometimes i don't know why i even bother.
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