that's what i'm pretty much doing. that, and enduring lifestyle network blaring on TV while the family (mum, dad, the middle sister and the younger brother) all are enthralled watching carol duvall show. wow.
it's a gray day outside and i should be asleep. i start graveyard shift tonight and i should be starting to adjust my body clock to my new schedule. but i'm not doing that. all morning i'd been re-reading the half-blood prince. that was my third re-reading. after finishing the book, i thought i should upload some of the photos i needed to upload.
i'm awake and the soda i'm drinking is not helping.
the other night (sunday) i was with that friend from ilocos and his writer friend. we ended up in this writer-friend's apartment, listening to cynthia alexander and tori amos.
at one point, my ilocano friend was asleep and it was just me and the writer guy talking in the kitchen. he asked me if our friend knows of that time i gave him head after we went to malate. i said no, i didn't tell him. nor did i ever intended to.
a couple minutes later he invited me to sit next to him in bed. i knew where it was leading but i did, anyways, to humor him. as i sat down, he took my hand, put it on his crotch and asked me if i wanted to have sex with him. i smiled and told him no. he won't believe me at first, joking how it's obvious that i want to, as well.
and maybe i did, but not with him. the guy was the worst sex i had in my life. it's not the lack of endowment nor talent; it's with him that i experienced the most dispassionate sex i've ever had. no feeling of affection at all. he'd refuse it when i attempted to kiss him, and the whole experience felt like an exercise of power and control, him exerting power and control, and i never liked it.
(postscript: this is probably the first time i refused someone who offered me sex. i didn't think that was possible.)
enough of him.
i should sleep now and get ready for work later. bye bye.
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