falling ill sucks, but it's not like i could bully my body into recovering faster.

or maybe i could. people's minds work in strange ways sometimes.

on days when i am really ill, i realize how my body is not necessarily the same as that thing/person/idea that i consider as "me." sure my body is part of my self and on most days they're practically the same thing. but on some days they're not.

on most days the mind overrules the body, or at least it appears to be the one in charge that it's become something like a natural state of being. but at times like this -- when my physical body contradicts my mind and gets its (the physical body's) own way, when it refuses to follow the schedules and habits and motions that are imposed by the mind -- it feels like my body has become a separate being and that my consciousness is just hitching a ride. what my mind imposes becomes inconsequential if my body declares it's broken down and it has to stay inert for the entire day to recuperate.

so i've been asleep all day, and i wasn't able to see the doctor. tomorrow, there's work again, and i see the weekend will be mostly spent sleeping some more so i could go back to work on monday.

like i said, falling ill sucks. but as a friend pointed out, it was really my fault anyways.

whew. thinking up and typing this thing was tiring. i think (or at least my body tells me that) i'm gonna go sleep some more.