We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this;
there is always one person you love who becomes that definition.
It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life,
they will control how you feel about everyone else.
there is always one person you love who becomes that definition.
It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life,
they will control how you feel about everyone else.
- Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story
(much thanks to yves for reposting this.)
(much thanks to yves for reposting this.)
10 comments:
i thought you fell in love with someone named Missy...tapos biglang talking about horses (sa pilipinas?normal bang conversation ng Grade 6 yun?)
tuloy had to read the paragraph twice to get it...hehehe
jd!! i got it from jowein. i was ranting one day telling her, "but the new boy is nothing compared to &^%*, blah blah" and she was like, "alam mo yves, mahirap mag-compare... wait lang, mahaba ito, i-ym ko na lang."
yeah, i think i met the guy who defined love for me na rin.
"they win. and you lose..."
grrrr..grrr...
following that statement, i think i may have met the one who define what love is NOT for me.
that's the scariest definition of love i've ever read jadee. worst than "when you love you'll get hurt". oh well to each is own pero ako i think loving is caring, and the ultimate goal of love is happiness ( I might see hurt in the process pero happiness pa rin ang goal). or is that the ideal definition of love? =)
i'd rather stick with this statement of yours... love is like math, x/0 is undefined.
i don't think it's that scary. all he was saying is that there will be one person whom you will love in a way that will define love for you. everybody else you have loved before and will love after will not compare to how you loved this one person.
i think it's an accurate observation.
yeah, i agree. it's not really a definition, it's more like a description! and maybe it's scary, but not the i'll-turn-my-lights-on-tonight scary, more like whoa-that-shit-is-way-too-true kind of scary.
and it doesn't really say whether love is painful, or whether it's good or bad. it spoke more on the experience, or the encounters... that no matter what happens... there will always be this person/these persons who will reconstruct your judgment on what it means to feel strongly for someone (and most of the time, it's unconsciously done).
hello, celebrex.
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