what is a tin-foil cap?

office anecdote no. 1:
i was assured that this was from an actual support chat session transcript. information that could determine the identities of the participants were of course removed.

[xx:24:50] Chat Support Agent: Please let me know your Fathers middle name for account verification purpose.
[xx:25:39] customer@***.com:  ___________ played the fiddle while Rome Burned
[xx:27:05] Chat Support Agent: I know the answer but I would like you to name it once.
[xx:27:53] customer@***.com: Nero. But I have no way of knowing u are not a hacker.  I just have to trust u
[xx:28:16] Chat Support Agent: I am not a hacker and this is a secured Chat line.
[xx:28:29] Chat Support Agent: It is next to impossible to crack it.
[xx:29:01] Chat Support Agent: Is there anything else I can assist you with?
[xx:29:03] customer@***.com: Scarrrrrry

office anecdote no. 2:
jc thought his hair needed fixing and was looking for a comb. at the end of our row of workstations, there was kiko and me.

jc: you have a comb?
kiko: when have you seen me use a comb?

kiko has been recently fixing his hair into slightly spiky clumps. sort of like the studied mess that was initially popular in the early 2000s. jc then looked at me, but i answered before he even asked a question.

jade: don't ask me for a comb, either.

he laughed at that. (i mean, have you seen my hair lately?)

i pointed out that the office faggots are often useless when it comes to the fagotty stuff. none of us knows how to apply make-up even if our life depended on it, for example.

but speaking of hair.

office anecdote no. 3:
mau related how she and some other colleagues were deciding who had the longest hair in the team. they eventually agreed it was zoe.

"but," someone pointed out, "what if jade had his straightened?"