attending a wake.

it goes without saying that the way filipinos hold wakes are not meant to make people comfortable. there is the fact that you are there to bring comfort, or at least extend sympathy, to the family of the deceased who are mourning. one also, in such events, has confront and regard one's own mortality.

it's worse, i think, when one is an agnostic/atheist. religion often provides something to take about during wakes: the possibility of afterlife, for example, or the promise of spiritual respite. it could also provide distraction: a person practicing religion could always say a prayer for the deceased.

during wakes, i am often left to listen to the story of the surviving family, recalling the life of the deceased as well as the time before they passed away. listening is also a way of providing comfort to the grieving, yet it also leaves a heavier feeling after one has left the wake which tends to linger days afterwards.

and yet, it's important to say good byes and funerals and wakes reconnects the social bonds that tie friends and family together. i just wish that filipinos adopted a more celebratory way of saying good bye to their loved ones.

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my friend and high school classmate janice cambri's husband, leonardo 'nards' san jose, passed away yesterday at 2:40pm due after months of battling multiple myeloma or cancer of the bone marrow. his remains will lie in loyola memorial chapels in EDSA guadalupe for 2-3 days, starting today.

his remains will be moved to morong, rizal and there will be a wake for a few more days; the body will be interred in his hometown.

although i'm sure she appreciates the expression of sympathy from friends and former classmates, janice has requested not be contacted through text messages at this time.