Monday, May 18, 2009

i could be somewhere else right now.

i could be out drinking until i am wasted enough not to stand without holding on to railings, or actually pass out and wake up wondering why the color of the ceiling has changed. i could be in a friend's place, lying on a sofa, yakking about my week and how it's been sooo stressful and how it's only just started, the next few weeks would be a nightmarish experience worthy of an edvard munch painting. i could be up all night playing with tiny digital people fighting pseudo-medieval wars against forces of darkness.

or i could be asleep.

i'm taking a breather from revising some scripts for a customer. it's taken me some time now to work on revising the code but i still can't seem to make it work despite having the problem playing out and percolating in my mind for the last few days. i'm just stumped. i could be doing something else, but i'm devoting myself to this because it'll take my mind off a lot of things.

like taking over a task and immediately hitting a wall because i wasn't there when it started; that i don't have a clue on how things are and who does what; and could i just stop running things, never mind that the ownership was passed to me.

like not talking and not seeing, wondering if the other person was angry or hurt or what i should do to make up for whatever fault i had.

and not knowing when things will stop.

it's already monday morning, and i feel like i'm still in the middle of a really long week with no end in sight.

No comments: