happy on a mid-week.

01. i told lorie i could never come to work earlier than her, unless it's her night off. so here i am, an hour and half early for my shift. tonight is also lorie's off. still, it feels nice coming to work with nearly all the lights off. there is only the light of my screen to illuminate the keys and it feels so comfortable working like this. i know it will ruin my eyesight eventually. but the radio is playing some old adult contemporary music, and i still feel cool despite the lack of air-conditioning because of the rainwater that soaked my shirt, and i really hope tonight would be a good night. another co-worker, chris, would not say that i came to work all grumpy and angry again. but he didn't see me come to work tonight because i came here earlier than everyone.02. before i finished writing that last sentence, someone turned on the lights by my workstation. i felt somewhat let down, like it ruined a really fine ambiance that brought a really good mood.03. it was raining lightly outside and i didn't bring an umbrella. it was not heavy enough to soak me to the skin; only to wet my shirt to give off a cool feeling when the breeze hit me. it's one of things i nearly forgot: how the street shine because of reflected lamplight when it's wet because of the rain. i guess my preoccupation with electronic gadgets that made me want to avoid walking under the rain unprotected. it feels nice doing again something that i used to do when i didn't bother too much with the artifice of modern civilization. it feels good having rain fall against my face again.04. i am still broke and in debt. i might as well have to cancel all my plans for enrolling in writing workshops or travelling for the remainder of the year. i might not be able to move to another apartment in november, like i planned. but at least tonight i could say i'm happy and content. the last few weeks have been really hard on me.